A new point of balance

The second half of 2021 ended well. I was able to work slightly longer hours without hitting those dreaded brain lockups that can last for weeks. If you’re wondering why I didn’t just sign out of everything until fully recovered, it doesn’t really work that way. A complete break is a good start, but recovery from deep burnout is a long and gradual process, and increasing doses of normal routines (including work) are an important part of the healing process. The trick is in how quickly to increase those doses. Too fast and you reverse the healing. As someone who enjoys working long hours even when not pressured, it took me a long time, and several relapses, to learn the meaning of gradual. But learn I did, and my writing progress improved until I was able to end with the best six weeks of the previous eighteen months. It was a hopeful note to carry over into the new year.

I don’t often do typical new year’s resolutions, but I still find this a good time to evaluate the year that’s passed, look ahead, and make adjustments. Traditionally, things are added to a list, and added to an existing schedule. This year, I’m taking the opposite approach to the traditional one. Instead of adding, I’m scratching items off a list of possible goals. It’s the first time I’ve thought like this at the beginning of a year and it feels a bit weird, but I know it’s the right move – at least for now. Doing fewer of the things that fall into the “good but not necessary” category means more progress in the things that are good and necessary.

While I believe a rounded, balanced life is the most productive, there is a temptation to keep adding balance to a life until it looks like one of those circus acts that’s only one good sneeze away from disaster. Sometimes less is better. Another image that comes to mind is of two climbers attempting a difficult mountain with overloaded rucksacks. On reaching the point of collapse, one growls in defiance “I can do this! I can do this!” and crawls upward, though the rocks cut his hands and knees. The other climber stops, empties his pack of all the unneeded weight (and eats the chocolates), before walking on. The overloaded climber might reach the top – eventually – but he’ll be wrecked for the next stage of the hike.

Last year I tried different options of what to keep and what to discard. I found that, after a traumatic experience, it can take several attempts to locate the new point of balance that allows for both productivity and recuperation. I have a better idea now of where that point is. I’m managing my recovery more effectively, successfully avoiding relapses. I’m confident I’ll see significant improvement and better progress this year. Is anyone else still thinking about chocolates?

In terms of writing, I’ll have more to say in the next post. Apart from the mountain of general rewriting and editing I’ve been working through, I’ve also attended to the last of the out-of-reach sections. These were parts of the story that required more information than I could scour from research, so they were put off until I was able to get boots on the ground. Towards the end of 2021, I was finally able to gather what I needed. I’m mostly done reworking the text of those sections, and the difference is what I was hoping for. The once-bland scenes that ducked and tried to avoid notice are now parts of the story where I want to slow down, and where my thoughts keep returning to wander and look about. When I’m done with this, it will be a major milestone and a good time to step back and write a new blog post.

Answers to some of the comments

Will the progress bars go up again?

Unfortunately they were problematic in several ways. The biggest issue was that they stopped giving a realistic representation of the work being done. It became increasingly difficult to show progress which was mostly spread across the books, non-linear, and almost impossible to calculate or even estimate. I do understand that it’s helpful to see what has been done and what remains, so if the process becomes more linear towards the end, we may bring them back in a more manageable format.

Offers to support a Patreon account.

Thanks guys. I really do appreciate it. But as I mentioned at the end of the original post, I do have enough to make it through. My costs are not high. There are some book expenses but they are budgeted for. If you would like to support something we care about deeply, you could join us in the fight against human trafficking. It’s difficult to imagine a greater need. There are several excellent organisations in addition to the ones we’ve included here, so there are many options. Few of us have the knowledge or resources to get out there and step between traffickers and their targets or victims, but it’s possible to do so by providing support for these courageous organisations. When you see the estimated cost of intercepting, rescuing, or restoring someone, and you were able to give it … Let’s just say it brings a dose of reality (in a good way) when you recognise that you were part of a team that drew someone out from that nightmare.

Alpha and Beta reader requests.

I wish we could include all who are asking, but I’m afraid those lists were filled a long time ago.

Release date and audiobook

We’ll only put out a date during the final production stages. Being able to estimate a release date is something I look forward to more than you can imagine. Nobody is more eager to get the next book on the shelves than I am. To those who asked, there will be an audiobook, and yes, with the same narrator.

Don’t see your comment?

Unfortunately the spam filter sometimes gets it wrong. I’ve rescued several, but I don’t always see them in time. Those of a more personal nature I sometimes treat as email, along with those that – however thoughtful or sincerely meant – have the potential to spark blog riots. Over the years, a few of those slipped through and created a stir. We decided it would be best to keep the site free of that. But whether received as comment or personal message, thank you to everyone who reached out. I hope your Christmases were wonderful and that, even if there are challenges ahead, the new year greets you with a bright smile and a minty breath.